Bullying

My friends and family are tired of hearing me "complain" about a bully at work. So, this is my last statement about it.




Adult bullies. Who knew? Well, I was bullied once at work years ago (different employer), but this person was very aggressive to everyone, so it was easier to "prove" I was being bullied.


Yep, it has to be "proven." I get it. Being investigated as a "bully" can be harmful to one's career, so the "bullied" better have some concrete evidence. 


This bully is female and very very sly. At first I didn't think of it as bullying as it was all so subtle. And did I mention the bully is a woman? I don't usually associate bullies as adults much less a woman.


When I told a fellow attorney about this woman's actions, they bluntly told me to check the definition of bully. She hit every marker of a bully. 


It has been a year and I have tried many different tactics - including talking with this new boss of mine. Still, nothing has worked. 


A bully is all about control. About keeping a person off her game - isolating them and marginalizing them. Then being very charming when approached about "being mean" to others.


But here is something this bully forgot (and so did I until recently): I am an attorney.


Minnesota is not a "Healthy Workplace" state with legislation for ADULT bullies (only children -- and I am grateful for that victory -- bullying is extremely difficult for children to grapple with -- ). BUT Minnesota does have case law for civil suits on vicarious liability of employers for forms of harassment.


Especially if they state in their code of conduct that bullying is not condoned.


My current employer has such a policy.


Time to file a claim with Corporate for violation of our code of conduct. It may go nowhere. There shouldn't be retaliation for saying one is being bullied...it even says that in the code of conduct. I wonder how realistic that is -- guess I'm about to find out.


No one wants to believe that you can be bullied as an adult. People I've told have said this isn't worth fussing about -- that I'm being too sensitive. Cautioned me about "being certain" I want to force the issue with my employer and maybe I should look for a different position at the company.


I'm not surprised. It is hard as adults to understand bullying of our children. How can we fathom bullying of adults?


I am NOT being "too sensitive".... What I AM is being bullied.


 Being a "Plan B" person I am polishing up my resume.