Christmas Eve Morn'

A light snow fall keeps me company on the front porch this morning. 

I write this to be posted later when I'm back inside hooked up to the internet.  Oddly the deck thermometer said it was about 5 degrees but it doesn't seem so cold although my coffee does seem to cool quickly. Perhaps I should just have a coffee pot installed on the porch?  That makes me smile.

The neighbor's lights sparkle in the early morning darkness.Every inch of their yard is a tribute to the local hardware store goods.  A small part of me wonders if all the cheer outside the house hides sadness inside?  If they were to look across the way to my house and see there are no sparkly lights, no adorned tree, not one brightly wrapped gift what would they think? In a few days I will be unemployed and have time to finish unpacking and maybe I'll find the porch flag I used to fly in winter. A cheery snow man. 

When I glance back into the house I can see Sassy in the sitting room curled in her favorite rocker. I have decided to let her do what she wants and stop pestering her to eat and drink. When I'm her age I'd want to be let alone to do my own thing.  It will be soon.  I am mostly ready to let her go.

I think of my cousins in Nebraska and my aunt in Iowa this morning and the pain of a first Christmas without someone you love. I send peace to them in my prayers. There are no words to fill their emptiness. Only time.

Today is Christmas Eve day. A day I always enjoyed more than Christmas morning. A day of great anticipation, laughter, last minute wrappings, gatherings around the supper table before heading out to church services.  A day full of hope, of believing in dreams and the goodness in others.

I have almost let it pass me by. Enough wallowing in sorrow and fear.

There are dishes to be washed, laundry to fold, presents to gather and wrap and hugs to give to all those I love. 

And much to give thanks to God for...example:

When I was in Oklahoma I would dream of waking up Christmas Eve morning where I could head out to my porch armed with coffee and maybe a blanket as I had my morning talk with God. In my dream it was always snowing.

Perhaps there is a Santa after all.

First snowfall

How much snow have we received so far as it continues to fall?

Enough to cover the porch and decks such that not even my hightop red wings are high enough to keep my socks dry...and giving me a great reason to stay put today.

I'd post pictures but just made coffee, put music on, have the cat in my lap and thinking "Let God decorate the earth today for the season...the tree can wait to be put up." 

Now can I reach my tote bag without disturbing the cat so I can read my book?  No?  Well, coffee, purring cat and watching the snow will do.

Off to be still and know God.

A picture from winter of 2003, I believe. Just squint, imagine snow falling, less sun and voila! Penny's home!

Sassy and Uncle Vail

Sassy, while playful and eating again, continues to lose weight.  She is in the mid-stages of renal failure.  For 17 years old she is doing okay.  Nothing for renal failure but to keep her comfortable and happy. Maybe a few months.

Life goes on one sunrise/sunset at a time.

Last Thursday afternoon's post was probably a bit of a downer to read. That day my Uncle Vail laid down to take a nap on his couch.  He didn't wake-up.

We gathered in Nebraska to say our good-byes and celebrate the joy and sorrows of life with shared stories, songs, tears and oh so many needed hugs. Today, Uncle Vail's body will be tucked in next to his parents and sister Eunice in the family cemetary in Dumont, Iowa. Rest in peace, Uncle Vail.

Life goes on one sunrise/sunset at a time.

In my email this morning I received another round of rejections. Layoffs at the plant began on Friday and it was difficult for me to let my crew go.  Each person's reaction was a lesson in dealing with life in these hard times. My own layoff is imminent: tonight, tomorrow? 

When it happens I'll finish the unpacking, enjoy soup with a friend, talk about my Advent explorations over coffee with my pastor/friend, window shop and laugh with Aunt Val, locate the Christmas decorations and quilt gifts for friends as I plot out the next steps of living the dream. 

Life goes on one sunrise/sunset at a time.

For today I have a job to prepare for -- Sassafras the wonder cat is curled up between my arms and the keyboard purring away as we listen to the dryer tumbling, the coffee pot dripping and smell the bean soup simmering in the crock pot. Almost time for a quick nap before showering and heading to the plant.

Yep. Today is a good day.

Let's let tomorrow take care of itself as we move through life one sunrise/sunset at a time.